Sport and the battle with the "Auld Enemy"

The Australian Rugby Union team (the "Wallabies") has inexplicably just been bundled out of the World Cup by England. Sporting aberrations of this kind move me to a scientific investigation of why a nation of ~ 20 million can produce sportsmen and women, on average and by any non-partisan analysis clearly superior to those springing from the loins of a nation of 50 million. (we may speak of the Olympics if nothing else):

1. The seed of the present day Aussie population were filtered by the extreme hardship of their convict settlement origins. Take a population of artful dodgers, cunning spivs, forgers, Irish political agitators etc, kill off the ones who aren't as hard as nails and who lack the ability to adapt to the most topsy turvy of environments. Then breed like rabbits (kangaroos ?) from the rest of them.

2. Add to this mix, in the 20th century (a) all those Europeans who didn't fit in the place of their birth for one reason or another or were smart enough to say "sod this for a game of marbles" in response to the tumultous events in their pan-european homes (b) a liberal sprinkling of pacific islanders sharing one overiding characteristic: they knew how to kill people efficiently by hitting them with wooden objects and throwing things (think about what the Maoris did to the brits in NZ for one. If that's not enough, try to force your way into a King's Cross night club and think about it while you pick yourself out of the plate glass window across the road)

3. Put this fizzing bucket of genes into a country with plenty of space, abundant meat to eat, lots of sunshine and bugger all else to do once the business of survival against bushfire, drought, flood and every kind of poisonous and biting creature is sorted and let them get on with it while nurturing a deep cultural insecurity and brooding over numerous injustices inflicted by their colonial overlords.

4. Disperse the children of these pioneers to numerous remote locations where failure to participate in the local footy or cricket team meant complete and utter isolation from all social intercourse (and frequently from the other kind of intercourse too !). Allow none of that poofy culcha and litricher stuff to get in the way of the Saturday arvo biffo and booze-up.

Is it any wonder what the outcome is ?

So I say to our English friends: We have sport. You have Shakespeare. Tell your press to stop wringing their hands over this and give your lads a bit of support instead of a slagging them when they're NOT winning Ashes and World Cups and everyone will be happy :). Occasional reverses in Australia's sporting fortunes simply mark the progress of our nation toward a more diverse and culturally mature society. Take "Neighbours" for example. Oops..I forgot…you already do !

Cya